I am who I am

It's so easy to seek validation and love outside of ourselves. I can do all sorts of things to make others happy, but I'm not as easily pleased. I have super high expectations of myself and I often leave the job of being loved to other people. I realized that when I feed on the compliments, the "good job, Kelly" and the "you are so awesome", I run out of sustenance quickly. If I'm not careful, I unknowingly go out to seek more approval to get that high feeling again.

I want to cultivate my own source of love. I have an unending supply of love, energy and wellness inside. I am pure love. It's within me, I just don't tap into it.

The other day I tried to see myself as God does. I want to see myself through the lens of love.
As I raised my voice and ordered my girls to "hurry up, we've got to go now or we'll be late!!!", it was hard to see love and perfection. When I was grumpy before dinner because I'm hungry and I should know better and eat a late afternoon snack so I don't blow my top - I struggled to see myself as a being of love.

A friend of mine reminded me of the lyrics to Popeye's song: I'm Popeye the sailor man, I am what I am and that's all what I am, I'm Popeye the sailor man.
I modified this a bit and my mantra as of late is: I am who I am. It has been freeing to say the least. As I say this to myself, it brings me a sense of acceptance. As I begin to accept myself in all situations, good or bad, I allow that stream of love within me to flow again.