Feel the fear and do it anyway

I can't hold back who I naturally am. No one can. 

I've heard it said that, trying to hold back your true self is like pushing a beach ball into the water, it will always come up.

It's a lot of work to stifle one's true nature.

 

So I go from one extreme to the other. 

 

For months at a time I'll do what comes naturally; channeling, talking to spirit, sensing energy around me and all sorts of clairsentient type stuff.

 

Then all of a sudden, I will shut it all off.

 

I pretend like none of that stuff actually happened.

 

Who am I anyway? What do I know? This isn't normal.

 

The thing is, it is getting more difficult to push that beach ball down into the water. I'm tired. I'm also scared. What is going to happen when I let everything float to the surface? 

 

What am I capable of? 

 

We hold ourselves back don't we?

 

The words, feel the fear and do it anyway, keep popping in my head.

 

We all have something inside yearning to reach the light. We get insecure; we judge ourselves and question our own existence. We push it back down where no one can see it. Maybe we get brave and let some of it slip through the cracks. 

 

I've come to recognize when I need to take action in the direction of my deepest desires - two things happen simultaneously. 

One, I feel like a piece of me might die if I take that next step forward; and two, I feel like a piece of me might die if I stay where I am.

What do I do?

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

This is going to be exciting!